Are you in control?

The serenity to accept the things you can’t control

In life, 80% of things happen to you is totally out of your control. For example, hit by a lighting, run over by a car, a burglar steals all of your expensive watches. 

You can’t dodge a lighting, you can’t out ran a car, you can’t turn all of the thieves in the world to chiefs. There is a sizeable amount of matters in life just haphazardly fall onto us, and there is no way around it.

One thing human beings is really good at is finding a scapegoat or an excuse to make ourselves feel a little bit better when we are on the other side of luck, ironically, in this case, the victim is luck - luck is unlucky this time.

When events like that occured, you have to let them go as soon as you can; stop dwelling on that, because they bring back nothing but anger, disappointments and regrets. There is already an over supply of negative emotions in this fragile reality, we don’t need more of it.

Don’t get discouraged by that. Opposite to the popular beliefs, I believe everything in the world comes in balance. It is true there is nothing we can do with certain things; however, our reactions to them are totally up to us.

Imagine you are an Olympian athlete who just lost one of her legs in a car accident due to a drunken driver. Instead of let the anger takes a toll on her both physically and mentally, she decided to cooperate with the doctors to get back to her peak form so she can represent her country in the Paramedic Olympic.

There is no amount of exasperation can bring her leg back, the decisions of letting that go not only brought her body back, but the mind too.

The acceptance in this case is not a totally defeat or surrender at all. It is making peace with the adversity, which then establishes the serenity we all have been looking for but never found, so you can move on with your life.

The courage to do something to the things you can control

About 20% of things in your life can be controlled by you.

You can work harder to get a better test score - you can’t control what kind questions will be asked in the exam, but you can manage your attitude and level of preparation, which is why I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as a stupid student, only a lazy one. Everyone can accomplish a great outcome if they decide to work hard in a consistent fashion.

Things you can control but for some reasons you choose not to, are what make people regret in their death bed. I wish I would, I should, I could do certain things differently is the saddest feeling of all.

Make sure you do everything you can in your power to accomplish what you would like to accomplish, therefore, in the future, when you are lying on the bed before your last breath, you can proudly declare to your grand children that you have tried your best, there are no regrets at all. You are at peace with the world, more importantly, with yourself.

That’s a great ending, isn’t it?