Discover yourself (again)!

One of the most prominent white lies I have heard in my life so far is when someone else, especially my parents, telling me that I can be anything I want to be!

It’s a great pep talk. Unfortunately, it’s one of the common fallacies in life. The truth is, you can’t be everything you want to be; however, you can be everything you are by discovering who you really are.

If we can be anything we want to be, you should go to the closest McDonald near you and ask the manager that why you don’t want to be someone else? Was it your childhood dream to be a fast-food chain store manager when you grow up? 

Unless you have a billionaire parent like Bill Gates, you will not be anything you want to be. Instead, discover what you have around you in terms of resources and relationships, and make sure you utilise these assets as much as you can.

Why would you want to be someone else instead of yourself? Let’s take a detour and talk about the impact of being someone else.

There are an enormous amount of obstacles in our lives. Every once a while, when you get tired of dealing with them, your mind started to meander, and you might be thinking, “what if I can be Elon Musk and having billions of dollars at my disposal?” “What if I can be rich and famous?”

You are not alone. It’s natural for the human brain to have that kind of fantasy. As a matter of fact, fantasising about ourselves in a parallel universe is one of our brain’s super powers. It’s what makes us human unique. It’s the reason we invented aeroplanes (not the chimpanzees), so I don’t have to swim from New Zealand to New York to see the Statue of Liberty. 

However, when you imagine being someone, your most instinctive way of doing that is by thinking about all the benefits of being them. It’s what I called a psychological escape. 

When our mind is in that state, we intend to only focus on the glamour parts; we rarely think about all the negativities which come with it that may override and overwhelm all the benefits.

Sure, being Justin Bieber is incredible. Everything you ever wanted is there for you. Car, millions of fans, a beautiful house. So does that mean Justin is 100 times happier than you? 

The answer is a resounding no. I am sure there are tons of trifles Justin has to deal with, not to mention the enormous social pressure he gets from everywhere. Are you willing to tackle and fathom these insurmountable challenges while driving your beloved Lamborghini? 

However, that being said, you can be everything you are. It’s mission-critical to discover your innate talent and nurture your skill set along the bumpy road of life. 

Your biggest challenge before turning 30 should be the quest of discovering who you really are. Don’t waste your time living in someone else’s life. It’s better to live in your imperfection because it is the most authentic, meaningful and powerful.

How do you find the most authentic version of yourself living inside you? 

Many college graduates would like to travel for a year before starting to look for jobs. Many people might misinterpret their actions and consider the year-long travel is just a superficial excuse to delay the next big step - finding a job. I never had the opportunity to travel after my four-year college stint, as I have got a job before I graduate. However, this has been one of the biggest regrets of my life. Once you start working it’s hard to stop, and later when you start your own family, the definition of travel changes dramatically.

Most people consider that trip as a quest to find their inner selves. I look at it differently. I believe the destinations don’t matter at all because that journey is inward.

By travelling, not only you will be able to find your place in this world, but who you really are and what you are made of. You can’t expect yourself to discover who you truly are by sitting at the same spot doing the exact mundane chores every day. Travelling stimulates your brain and invokes your curiosity, leading to the discovery of the most authentic version of you.

Find who you are, and make the best of yourself. That’s my definition of success. What’s yours?